10 AM

This is it. Last hour for reconciliation. Last chance to work this out ourselves. At ten, the retainer is paid and it's out of my hands. I had hoped we could do this ourselves. 

Still In Disbelief

It was supposed to work. We had so much potential. We had everything in front of us. We were great together. So much in common. How could it fall apart so badly? If you could just remember our good times. So many more good times than bad. God. And now, chaos. Destruction. 

But you will always be a part of me. 

Always in my heart, and over it. 

I think you know what I mean. That "something" I didn't get the chance to tell you. 

It Starts

I didn't want this to happen. I'm scared of what will come of all of this. But, it's not me I'm scared for. I tried to talk to you about this. We could have avoided all of this. It is very hard for me. Why? I love you.  I'm still in love with you. I know you have problems but I was willing to deal with it because our good days were awesome. They were. Trust me. We were incredible when things were good. And there were so many more good days than bad. I'm sorry you couldn't see that. When you truly love someone, you see through the bad and focus on the good. At least that's how I think. 

So, remember...you wanted this. 

I didn't. 

I'm Here

Yes, I still think about you. I still worry about you. I wonder what crafts you are working on. I wonder if you have any pain. How the kids are doing. I still care. And if you ever just want to talk, vent about something, anything, I'm here for you. 

Anything You Wanted

...and then you turned your hand over and dumped me out. 

Failure

Sacrifice

I tried so hard for you. I know you don't think it, but I did. Sure, I tried the wrong things sometimes, but they were done with the right intentions. I never thought bad of you. Never blamed anything on you. I held you in the highest standards. I wish you could have seen through all of my faults, like you did in the beginning, and look into my heart. 

You would have seen you.