Instantly

It was like that. Remember? It still is with me. God Malania, please remember that. Remember saying "I hate when you leave. I never know when I will see you or hear from you again". Now it's me wondering if I will ever even get a simple "hey, what are you doing" text. Please don't give up. Remember all the things we talked about doing when things were good. All of those things I wanted to do. I hope somewhere in your heart you do too. 

Please

Just a simple "hey". 

Please. 

Anything

Please text me. We can talk about anything or nothing. Your day. How you are feeling. Your pains. The kids. The dogs. The weather. Baseball. Anything. Just normal stuff. Or, just say "hey". Something as simple as that. I will just say hey back. If you want to say more, that's up to you. I will answer you. Any hour. I care. I love you. 

Poke

I miss your pokes. I think it was up to 45 in a row. I miss getting my butt kicked at Yahtzee. You're "hey" texts. I keep hoping you will see what you mean to me. I'm here anytime if you want to talk. I'll always answer. I love you very much. 

Dream

I dreamed that you messaged me last night and it said "I miss you". I woke up, looked at my phone. Nothing. I broke down and cried. God it hurts. 

Happy Birthday

Happy Birthday Malania. You are an amazing woman. Even though you are a year older, you look more amazing than ever. You still look like a teenager. I hope you have a great day. I love you very much. 

Today

Today hurt. More than you will ever know, it fucking hurt. I don't know if you even know why it did or if you even care. I know you have a heart, so, somewhere in there, I know you would understand why. 

But today hurt really fucking bad.