It All Comes Crashing Down

All Smiles, a photo by iLoveMalania on Flickr.

Things go so great. Everything seems to be coming together. We share good times, we have fun, we laugh, we talk, we share. In an instant its all gone again. One oversight. One forgotten exchange. No deciet meant, but trust lost, again. Everything comes crashing down. My mind thinks of wonderful things for us...and it also forgets something so simple. I mean to tell you, then something comes up and I forget. I have so much on my mind. I wish you could understand. I worry about us. I worry about you. I worry about your health. I worry about the kids. I think about work. I think about what we are planning to do. I think about vacation next year. I think about being next to you. I think about gas prices. I think about photo shoots. I think about holidays. I think about the house, the yard, cars, tires, bills, money, homework, birthdays, bugs, mice, decorations, clothes, baseball, football. All of those thoughts have you in them. Some things I forget to do. Like the tag that's still not on my car. Moving a box you wanted me to. A phone call. I mean to do those things, but sometimes my brain forgets to remind me. I'm sorry. I get upset at myself. I act crazy. I want to do the right thing but when I don't, I get so upset with myself because I know the consequenses. I know it is going to upset you and we are going to be pulled apart from how close we were becoming. It causes you to doubt. It causes you to pull away. And that is the last thing I want. It all comes crashing down. I wouldn't do something on purpose to make this happen. I want us to be close. I want us to be open. I want us to be us, not mine and yours. When something like this happens it kills me. You're not the only one who hurts. It makes me so frustrated to come so far and for this to happen. We have been through so much. I want you to know I will never do anything to deceive you. I will forget things. I'm human. There is no one for me but you. I want you to know that. I would give up everything for you. I would break my back to do everything I could for you. You may have to remind me at times, but I will do everything I can. That's why I get so upset. I know I wil do those things, it's getting you to believe in me that is the difficult part. Malania, I love you. I love you more than anything on earth. I don't want us to crash anymore. I want us to fly.

Photo Shoot I

Photo Shoot I, a photo by iLoveMalania on Flickr.

I love our family. There is nowhere I would rather be or no one I would rather be with.

A Night Out

Red Devon, a photo by iLoveMalania on Flickr.

I have so much fun going on photo shoots with you. I never knew I could enjoy doing things with someone so much. you make every little trip so much fun. Being lucky enough to get to spend my life with you is more than anyone could ever dream of. I love you more than anything.

Egg Love

Egg Love, a photo by iLoveMalania on Flickr.

Thoughts....

...here we are. Us. Together. We have come so far. We have so much farther to go. We have laughed. We have cried. We have travelled. We have shared our lives together. We have welcomed new life. We have stood on top of mountains. We have walked through creeks. We have had adventure. We have fought. We have made up. We have photographed. I know "we" are much stronger than "I". We have chances. We have tomorrows. We have love. We have the future. We have us.

I love you Malania.

Steady

Steady, a photo by iLoveMalania on Flickr.

Another fun day at the zoo with you. I always have fun when we go places. As long as we are together, anything fun is possible. You brighten my world. I love you so much.

Thank You

Half, a photo by iLoveMalania on Flickr.

Thank you for loving me. Thank you for trying so hard. Thank you for putting up with me. Thank you for being there through rough times. Thank you for being a wonderful mother. Thank you for all the places we go together. Thank you for all the things we do together. Thank you for being the person you are. I love you more than I could ever explain.

Family Fun

Thursday we all went to the Dallas area. We left early in the morning and stopped at the Texas state line for pictures then made our way to Grapevine to go to Legoland at the Grapevine Mills Mall. We had a great time there. The mall is big and there was a lot of walking. We ate at the Rainforest Cafe. Overpriced but interesting. Then we went to Legoland. It is a small place with only a few rides for the kids. My favorite, and Malania's favorite was the mini city. The kids had fun in there riding the rides and seeing everything Lego. After that we stopped for some cupcakes then In-N-Out for dinner before heading home. We drove by the Texas Motor Speedway. I would love to go back and take a tour sometime. I know I'm not a huge NASCAR fan, but I love that my wife is very passionate about it which makes it interesting for me. I love seeing her smile. We made it home late and everyone was tired but we had a really good time. I know I did.

Friday afternoon we decided to drive down to the Chickasaw National Recreation Area in Sulphur. We packed everything up and headed out. We packed everything...not everything made it into the car. That was my fault. I forgot the cooler with our drinks, towels, and the floaties for the kids. I was so excited to be going with them I forgot to put everything in the car. We had fun seeing the waterfalls and letting the kids get wet and splash around. The water was a little chilly but it was a beautiful area. Parker enjoyed being with momma, his favorite place to be. It's so wonderful seeing her with him. She takes such good care of him. He can be a little needy at times but she does so much for him. On our way back we stopped at Braums for milkshakes and ice cream. The kids enjoyed it. We also stopped to take pictures of a windmill. It is so fun to go places with all of them. Sometimes thier moods can be challenging, but, there is nowhere I would rather be. Being a part of something so wonderful makes me feel so good. I know being with them is where I was meant to be. I hope we can have so many more days like those. I love them so much.

Malania started working on a new wreath this weekend. It is going to be a Oklahoma City Thunder basketball theme. She works so hard on her crafts. I know it will turn out great.

We also sent in our entries for the Oklahoma City Zoo calendar photo contest. Hopefully one or more of hers will be chosen. She loves the zoo. I love being able to experience it with her and the children.