Again

http://youtu.be/NUH-GsxCKzg

Thinking Of You

When I'm all alone or in a crowd

In a quiet place or where music's loud

If I'm on the road, or in the other room

That's how you know, I'm thinkin' of you

When the flowers bloom, when the leaves turn brown

when the sun is hot, when the snow falls down, down

when the clouds are gray, and the sky's are blue

that's how you know, I'm thinkin' of you

I'm thinkin of you, that's all I do all the time

You're always the first and the last thing on this heart of mine

No matter where I go or what I do, 

I'm thinkin' of you. 

Can't remember names, who I used to be

what I cared about before you came to me, baby

Every selfish thought, all I thought I knew

has been replaced with thinkin' of you. 

I'm thinkin of you, that's all I do all the time

You're always the first and the last thing on this heart of mine

No matter where I go or what I do, 

I'm thinkin' of you. 

Always thinkin' of you, yes I am.

Your Birthday

I'm sorry, if this isn't about me, my apologies. Your post "Pain". You are my love. My only one. You are everything to me. I am not trying to hurt you at all. I'm only yelling you how wonderful you are to me. I'm not bad mouthing you or any of that. If I have said something to upset you, please tell me what it was. That, was never my intent. I try and give you confidence, support and love. I'm not going to try and tear you down, one, you don't deserve it, and two, it would hurt me just as much you. I didn't try to ruin your birthday. I sent you a happy birthday text at around 7am that day. I posted to Instagram and my blog wishing you a happy birthday. I brought you gifts, a card and cupcakes. I know they weren't much, but they were given thinking of you. Again, if it's not about me, my apologies. I just don't want you thinking I don't care about you or love you more than anything. Because I do. 

If

Malania, if you read these, please text me, call me, anything. I can't give up. You are worth everything to me. I care about you and love you so much. We can have good times again. All of this arguing and fighting was all a big mistake. Why would I want what we had to end? With all of my heart, I never tried to decieve you or lie to you or make you feel unwanted. You know that. You know I can't. I knew what would happen if I did, that's why I couldn't. In your heart, you know what you mean to me. Please listen to it. Please remember how happy we were again. 

Talk to me, please. 

I love you. 

Instantly

It was like that. Remember? It still is with me. God Malania, please remember that. Remember saying "I hate when you leave. I never know when I will see you or hear from you again". Now it's me wondering if I will ever even get a simple "hey, what are you doing" text. Please don't give up. Remember all the things we talked about doing when things were good. All of those things I wanted to do. I hope somewhere in your heart you do too. 

Please

Just a simple "hey". 

Please. 

Anything

Please text me. We can talk about anything or nothing. Your day. How you are feeling. Your pains. The kids. The dogs. The weather. Baseball. Anything. Just normal stuff. Or, just say "hey". Something as simple as that. I will just say hey back. If you want to say more, that's up to you. I will answer you. Any hour. I care. I love you.