Nervous

I'm so nervous at times like this. When I haven't seen you for a while, I never know what to expect. I want things to go good. I know we can be. I know we can joke, laugh, talk, all the good things. That's how I hope it will be. I always want it to be a good time. I never want to argue with you. I want to make you smile. I want you to remember how good we can be. I love you so much. 

Stunning

You are beautiful. You know I know it. You know I think of you as the most gorgeous, amazing woman on earth. Just thought I would say that again here, since I can't comment on the actual picture. 

So amazingly beautiful. 

Every Second

I miss you. Always. That's why I try to talk to you. I miss it. I miss hearing the little things that go on in your life. I care about you. I've tried to show you. When something was wrong, I tried to help, with support. Whether it was words to calm you, a hug to let you know I love being with you, money when you worried or needed something, gifts to make you smile, or just listen to let you know I understand you are upset and I will always believe in you and no one else. You are always on my mind. That's why I try to talk to you. That's why I try to see you whenever possible. That's why I did anything to be with you, even be dishonest to family, not you. I wasn't going to let anything get in the way of spending time with you. Any way I could to see you, I was going to do, because being together with you and having the fun we had, was more important than anything else. You are worth my time. Every second. I hope you can see that. Any time you needed me, I was there. When you were having a bad day, I would bring a sundae or cupcakes or something to try and cheer you up. You are worth every effort. You are worth every mile. You are worth every second. You are amazing, and we were amazing when we were doing things together. 

Always Trying, Still

I made time for you. I didn't make any excuses. When you wanted me there, I was there. I wasn't too busy for you. I didn't say I can't because I have something more important to do. Every possible moment I could spend with you, I did. I didn't care if I drove there just to see you for fifteen minutes. It was worth it. I didn't lie to you. When you needed help, I did everything I could. And you did too. If you think I lied or made excuses to NOT be with you, I'm sorry, but that isn't true. You know I would rather be with you than anywhere. The only excuses i make are finding ways to be close so I can see you. I love you more than life. 

New Visions

I've been lots of places. Some amazing and beautiful, some just your everyday place. But the places I've been with you, even places I've been before, have been so much more amazing when you are with me. You make going somewhere so much better Than I could ever imagine. You are magical. I hope we can enjoy places together again. I love you Malania. 

Why?

Why can't you talk to me? Why does it just stop? You said you still cared about me. You said you still loved me. Why does that just stop? I don't understand. God please. You know I love you. You know I would do anything for you. You know how much I was trying to make you happy. I was doing everything I could to spend time with you. God I love you. I don't know why you can't see that, but I wish you would. 

Completely Confused

I don't know how you can think I don't care about you or I'm "not into you". That's just insane. I hang on every word and every text from you. I wait. I wait for the next time to see you. It is the longest, worst wait I could ever have. Why you think I don't enjoy spending time with you is beyond me. Why you think I don't want to do everything for you I don't understand. I'm there for you whenever you need me. I try so hard for you. I wish you would see that. I wish you would see what being with you, doing things with you, sharing my life with you, means to me. I wish you knew how good I feel when I can get you something you want and how bad I feel when I can't. The last month was incredible. I couldn't believe I was so close to you again. You made me believe again. You made me think I was good enough to be with you again. Like your quote you sent me "just because I don't text you, doesn't mean I don't want to talk to you". That's the truth. I was waiting for you. Waiting for you to miss me because I miss you so much. All the things we did, the places we went, the fun times we had, do you think I didn't want that? It's all I wanted. I was happy spending whatever time I could with you. When you told me to go, I went. When you asked me to stay, I stayed. When I was gone, you missed me so much and I missed you too. The truth is out. Everyone knows. And I don't care what they think. All that matters is how we feel about each other. And for me, you are my world. There is only one place I want to be and only one person I want to fight for and give my all for, and that is you. But you should know that, because I told you the truth, and if not, I'm completely confused.