It's interesting. You always say I thought about me. I did what I wanted to do. I never cared about you like I should have. I didn't think of you like I should have.
When you told me to leave this last time, did you notice that what I took with me was basically what I brought in with me when I moved in. I never really bought anything for myself. It was more important for me to do for you. I had what I wanted. I had all I needed. You even would say it. "It will be easy to pack, you don't have much." Material things, no, I don't. I had something even more valuable than anything. I had you. I had an amazing family. Three years, and I basically have what I started with.
I had a home. I helped get things for this home. I had a wife I would do anything for, sometimes the wrong things, but with the right intentions. I had six wonderful children. None of which I can see anymore. I can't even talk to them. I provided as best I could. My blood, sweat and tears are in that house. I worked hard to make it the best I could. Building, painting, digging. Sure, there were things I would have liked to have. But what was more important to me was making sure you had things you wanted and needed.
Yes, my mistakes caused us to not be together anymore. You lost too. You lost someone who would never give up on you. Someone who put you on a pedestal. Someone who always tried to inspire you. Someone who doesn't have prior responsibilities to concern himself with, there's only you and the kids. No kids from a previous relationship to worry about. Nothing but you and the kids. But if you think I took more than I gave, I think you need to take a look around at what you have, then look at what I left with. Even now, I can't stop giving. I will always want to help you, provide as much as I can for you. I'm not stupid. People may think I am for still trying to give you more than you ask for. But I made a promise. I made it three years ago this May. To provide for you. I promised it again recently. I will always be here to help you.
I know I broke promises. But look at the promises I broke. Lying to you. What did I lie about? Stopping the running to others. It took longer than it should have, but it's been two years since I last did that. But it still comes up. I was wrong to do it in the first place. Walking out. I've explained why I did that. I'm sorry you don't understand my reasons. I didn't want to fight. I needed to think before I said something I didn't want to. Still, wrong to do. Should I have left? No. Walk outside. Yes. Those broken promises. Bad? Yes. Marriage ending? In most cases, no. I didn't cheat on you. I didn't lay a hand on you in anger. I didn't lie about drinking or smoking. I didn't lie about my feelings for you. "To have and to hold, in sickness and health, for richer or poorer, until death do us part". Not a lie. I always held you, even when you didn't want me to. I was by your side when you were sick. I always told you it didn't matter if you were three hundred pounds, lost all your hair or were paralyzed, I was going to love you and want you always. You never believed me. Why you would think I just wanted to be with you because you are beautiful is beyond me. You are beautiful, but your beauty inside is why I love you as much as I do. I did everything I could financially for us. We weren't rich, but we weren't poor either. It hurt to hear you say we were poor. We had a house, food, clothes, and enough to provide fun times for us and the children. That's not poor.
I love you. I will always be in love with you. You will always be a princess to me. I hope someday you see how much I did try for you, to do things to make you happy. Just look what you have, then look what I have. I never asked for anything but your love and understanding, and sometimes your patience. Pardon me, I did make a big deal about names. That was my mistake. I wasn't trying to change who you were. All I wanted was you. You were all I could ever need. You thought the same about me too.
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