So Many Tears

Yes, I cried. So many times. Good tears and bad ones. When I thought about what it was like being with you, holding you, feeling your love, just knowing I was where I was supposed to be, that my life had meaning, that I was with the most amazing woman, I cried. Those tears, those were good ones. When Parker was born. Watching you. Holding you during the delivery. Seeing you deliver our son. Your strength. Your love. Good tears. 

Our fights. Seeing the pain in your eyes. Hearing it in your voice. Bad tears. Hearing you say I'm not good enough. Wanting a divorce. Your broken heart. Your surgeries. Your struggle. Bad tears. Missing you. Wanting you. Needing you. Still loving you. Bad tears. 

I cried during the good times. I cried during the bad. The emotions I feel for you, I have never felt. I tried to explain to you what being with you felt like and meant to me.

It meant everything.