The Real Lie

I could say, I wish we never happened. I wish the last three years of my life could be erased. 

But it would be a lie. 

It was the best time of my life. Yes, there have been moments that were the worst of my life too, but they were just moments. Moments, in three years of so much joy, so much happiness. 

We WERE happy together. You can't deny that. All of those times spent together, laughing, smiling, holding. Adventures together, trips, walks, holidays, events, sports, photos, birth. None of that was a lie. It was real. It was us. It was how we were meant to be. You're lying to yourself if you didn't feel that too. 

I wish you would have forgiven me. I wish I wouldn't have done the things I did. We could be doing good, then something happens and your mind would go back. I wanted you to see what you meant to me. I was truly completely happy with you. I wanted so bad for you to feel that way with me. You did. But that feeling got buried in all the mistakes. 

Is it still in there? Buried inside you? I don't know. Sometimes I think it is. Sometimes I don't. I wish you would have believed in me. Trusted me to be your protector, your friend, your companion. I was truly happy with you. You were, are and always will be my world.